Never Been Hated By Someone I'd Trade Places With

I keep seeing people repost videos with the caption, "Never Been Hated By Someone I'd Trade Places With." It's seen as some spiritual mic drop. Like the person reposting it has some higher level of emotional intelligence. Like, the situation is closed because they decided they actually don't want your life?

Every time I read it, it feels like armor. Not wisdom. Because if you really didn't care, you wouldn't need to repost that sentence at all.

There's something alluring about claiming victimhood publicly. It lets everyone skip over the messy parts of the story and says, "Hey, I'm the victim... No, the other side of the story doesn't matter."

When you frame yourself as being hated, you don't have to ask harder questions. You don't have to consider that someone's distance or anger isn't about insecurity, but could be about hurt feelings or boundaries.

But that doesn't perform well online, so instead we repost quotes that reassure us:

If they don't like me, they must want to be me. If they pulled away, it's because I intimidate them. If I was blocked, it's because they can't handle the truth.

And I understand that it can feel empowering, but it also just protects us from discomfort and truth.

It's ironic how the quote "rejects comparison" while relying on it completely. It only works if the other person is beneath you, their feelings don't count, or your perspective is the objective truth. And you're only able to come to those conclusions by comparing. It's not about your self-worth at that point. It's about ranking. And ranking yourself above someone else is a simple way to avoid the idea that two people can walk away with equally valid experiences.

These posts almost seem defensive, even though they all claim indifference. If you didn't care, you wouldn't need to announce it. You wouldn't need to frame the other person as pathetic. The repost isn't confidence, it's reassurance.

Real reflection is quiet and happens offline. It doesn't get likes. It gets you happiness (which can quickly be confused). Posting gives you instant validation, and when people comment, "THIS." You feel seen, justified, and the story feels finished. Finished stories are rarely honest, though.

Most real situations don't involve a hero and villain. They have two real people who experienced the same thing differently, who both exist. There is never a good reason to diminish each other.

There's a version of moving on that doesn't involve you being superior, nor does it require your "villain" to be jealous or obsessed. It just requires you to accept that you aren't liked by everyone, but that shouldn't affect your worth. Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is nothing at all. And just walk away, because it happens. And it will likely happen again.