Moving. Again

I have never considered moving to Florida. I moved here six months ago and if you asked me eight months ago, I truly could not have predicted this. I had no plans to leave California after my lease ended in August. Comparing my first move from Alaska to California required a different kind of preparation than my second move to Florida. But leaving both states felt nearly the same. I missed California faster, around the three month mark. My lease was only six months though, so technically it was at the same time I missed Alaska in California (six months into my CA lease). Stay with me, we're going back to the road trip. My two week (and two day) road trip, where I went up to the spot I've been wanting to visit since I was sixteen (Sea Ranch, CA), then down to Mesquite, over to GCU, down to see family in Texas, and then some in West Florida, ending with me in Saint Augustine. I was very distracted, hung over, and caught up reading Valley of the Dolls, and trying to see what clean shirts I had left. That led me to find out I lost my favorite white tank top somewhere along the way.

I got to my new place of residency (kind of, I never did change my license plate like that cop told me to), and did not feel at home. I went out to eat a few times with my roommates and I explored the beach fast. I was introduced to a more secret beach spot that is likely where I drove to most, second to work. I kept my job from the week I got it to the week before I left, which is better than my luck in California where I worked for a man who threw a plate at a fellow barista's head. I quit about a month into working there when I was told to wear heels and found a new coffee shop the month following.

I found out the Trader Joe's was forty minutes away, and my nearest Publix was overpriced. In all honesty, my first impression of this state was lame. It was nothing compared to the last beach town I was just living in, but how am I supposed to compare two opposite sides of the country?

This was written in my journal two months and four days after I moved in. "I don't particularly enjoy Florida. I enjoy the beach and the sunrises (like the one I am about to be on my way to see), but it's humid. I don't know. I don't have many reasons not to like it. I just don't. I think it's perfect for me now though. It gives me space and time to be alone. Grow. Learn about who I am without anyone else to tell me who I seem to be. I would like to tell you more, like I've met new people. Mostly people I've worked with. I write a lot of simple and thoughtless gratitude. I would like to be more specific carrying on."

Yes, I write in my journal as if someone other than I will read it, but the entry just ends with me rambling about my favorite writers and why they're my said favorites.

Some things have changed since I wrote that though. I don't mind the humidity anymore. I still overheat when I get into my car after it's been soaked in the sun. And this town has ended up being very similar to where I grew up. Although it's much more forward and funky. I do think that might just be because I'm twenty here and was eighteen there. When I was close to leaving Alaska, I noticed it had its own funk. A good, still farther behind than the rest of the states, but good nonetheless, kind of funk.

I really did enjoy the coffee house I worked at. I think because I enjoyed who I worked with. Saint Augustine is a good place to be at when twenty. There's a college here, Flagler. And despite making jokes and judgemental remarks about the place throughout my stay here, that means there are a lot more peers around me than twenty-seven-year-olds that make way more money than I do.

Being around more people my age while living alone changed my perspective on a lot. I talked to college students who weren't even sure why they were going to school, their parents just offered to pay. I also talked to people who had to work two to three jobs to pay off what they spent going to school here. There was also a lot of activity for everyone.

Walking downtown was enjoyable, even when the streets were packed, and they are packed more often than not. And everyone warned me that the cockroaches were going to be worse here than California, but they lied. I think I saw two? And I was not in my right mind to even care when I did see them. But they came out while I was downtown.

There was a silent disco at this cafe/vintage store/market. I honestly only walked through the entire store once, and grabbed a coffee there twice. I never went to the silent disco that I heard mixed reviews on. A coworker of mine loved them. If there was a silent disco, she was trying to get there. Meanwhile my roommate laughs whenever I ask her about it. I just can't get past the idea of hearing shoes tapping on the floor in a silent room. So no, I never went. There was a Heated Rivalry silent disco one night. I was the most tempted then. I still decided against it.

I made my way to a few concerts, but the music scene is a little more expensive than it was in my past places of living. Or maybe just more inaccessible. I am going to go ahead and say both. My favorite concerts in Alaska were always an hour or so drive away in Hope, but they were always worth it. And I could car camp. If I didn't work, I was there. California had several artists playing at once, so it always felt worth it. I don't want to call them festivals, but mini festivals? Or there would be your favorite artist playing in L.A., and then you would have to go. I saw Devon Again on my birthday in 2024. The friends I went with weren't a huge fan of her until they saw her live with me.

Saint Augustine held concerts at a few different venues, and they did have some good artists come in and out. I once ended up in Gainesville for a concert my roommate wanted to see, Jacksonville for my birthday, and thirty minutes up the A1A (I think I'm writing that right), I got to see one of my favorite artists with two people I barely knew six months ago. Each concert was fun, but everything in Florida feels like such a trek.

I spent most of my time alone here, and I think by choice. I didn't go out of my way to meet people. I knew I would only be living here for six months, so if people were naturally in my life, then they were. And if they weren't I wasn't really searching for them to be. It was my first time living on my own. There was no family or boyfriend to have right by my side, and I wanted to embrace that fully. Spend my nights doing absolutely nothing or spend way too much money on a glass of wine. Recently I've been sitting on my bed listening to music. Nothing else but listening. It sounds lame, but it's a really great way to decompress. I mean maybe that is lame. I just discovered that I don't have to constantly be doing something though, so cut me some slack.

Saint Augustine did show me that I can relax. If I'm tired after my short shift at Juniper, I can go home and nap. It's okay to step back and take a breath if I need to. Moving here alone has taught me that I'm not obligated to do anything other than take care of myself. And I don't mean that selfishly. I just think this is the age to be selfish. I should be focusing on my health and learning to manage my funds. Exploring what fills my cup and what pokes holes in it. That is a childish reference, but it's one we can all understand. I can say no to plans if I would rather take a bath, and I can say yes to six hour road trips at 10:00 P.M. It's the versatility of living on your own, and I feel like it's the first time I've really gotten to experience this. I mean it is the first time I've gotten to experience this.

On occasion I will miss California, but not as much as I did at that three month mark. I find myself missing the mountains more than anything. I grew to love Saint Augustine, but I could never live somewhere so flat again.

Something I wrote more recently. "I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm grateful I didn't know what Florida was like when I moved here, otherwise I wouldn't have moved here. I wouldn't have met the girl I'm now moving out of here with. I wouldn't have seen that one sunrise with the girl swimming in the water, in this orange light, that looked like the initial V and V inspiration picture. I wouldn't have had such a clear view of the stars like this. And I wouldn't have a perfect view of the moon from my window right now."

It sounds annoyingly optimistic, but I am annoyingly optimistic. I just try to keep that side of myself hidden a little more. But I'm not very good at doing that.

I wouldn't not move here if I was making the decision again in August 2025. I think it was just right for me. I also think it was the most random place I could have moved in my life. And it kind of just felt like a blip, but somehow the longest six months of my life?

I'll probably end up moving somewhere I've never visited before and repeat this process. Except maybe it'll be out of the country. You'll hear about it, I'm sure because I'll tell you.

Bye Florida! I'll be back for the beach in winter.